Hopes and Fears

T- 48 hours!

I fly out for Kenya in almost exactly 2 days. I'll land there in 3 days (yes, it's about 24 hours on planes and in airports YAY!).

I'm all packed up, I've said goodbye to my family (except Jon, who I'm staying with until I leave), and I sorta wish I was leaving today. These next two days playing the waiting game are gonna be hard. But they're good for sorting out my mind and last minute details. (I've learned that I'm going to stay in the home of someone who works at Nairobi Chapel, that she has a 24 year old daughter, and that another intern [Canadian!] will be living with us!)

When I was at this point last year with Uganda, our team did hopes and fears for the trips, which we then did again as we were leaving. I think that's a good process so here we go.

Fears: I'm scared of getting homesick or culture shocked and not having people to turn to like I did in Uganda. I'm afraid that I won't have the right words, the right lessons, that I won't live up to their expectations. I'm slightly nervous about my health. I haven't done anything like this since my arthritis came back. Though it's under control, I'm nervous that I won't be able to take care of myself in the same way over there. I'm afraid that once I get there I'll never want to leave.

Hopes: I hope that I can learn a ton about the school systems of Nairobi and how the Nairobi systems differ from those of the slums. I hope I can make long term connections and longer term friends. I hope they have Chapatti (flatbread) and that Mango season lasts all summer. I hope that the kids are incredible and that I cry when I leave each school that I'll work at. I hope that I'll be able to live fully and wholeheartedly in the culture. I hope there's tea. I hope that I can meet my brothers and sisters in Kenya and can learn deeply from them. I hope what I learn will not be solely head-knowledge, but that I will learn about love and commitment, about contentment and joy in all circumstances. And I hope that I won't only learn about these things, but that I will implement them in my life in years to come.


So there you go. Some hopes and fears. I'll do this again on the return journey-- hopes and fears of returning home, as well as how these hopes and fears have either been recognized or dismissed completely. But for now, I'll talk to you later.